Like last year’s edition (available at https://scrubreport.com/2023/01/14/bests-worsts-of-2022-gaming/), this will be a bit of a twist on the usual “Best/Worst” listicle format – that is, it’ll include specific events, game mechanics, and industry trends as well as games that I liked or hated. Let’s git ‘er done.
Bests:
– Assembling insane contraptions in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (and watching them fail spectacularly) is a character-building experience on par with the time your dad chased you through a cornfield in a combine harvester.
– Playing Gran Turismo 7 in VR has helped me realize that I am the Avatar of Speed. I even got a “Clean Racing” bonus once. (Look, it’s not my fault that smashing off the sides of other cars to turn faster works so well.)
– Speaking of VR…the telekinetic, bullet-spewing madness of Synapse made me feel so powerful I started cackling like I was fucking Lex Luthor. I usually don’t click with Roguelikes, but this one…wow.
– The animation for nut-shot enemies in Robocop is a near-perfect recreation of the “dismembering” that occurs in the original film (you know the one). Your move, creep.
– In 2023, we saw real-life redemption arcs for Cyberpunk 2077 and, to a lesser extent, Halo Infinite. Cyberpunk’s expansion, Phantom Liberty, provided an intriguing tonal shift into espionage-related action, and Halo Infinite got a few new maps, an overhauled cosmetics system, and a less-shitty battle pass. Hooray! (Too bad Infinite’s campaign still sucks more than a Dyson.)
– I’ve heard that Baldur’s Gate 3 is the best thing since potable water. I have it downloaded but haven’t started yet because I already know it’s going to eat my life.
– Great horror remakes like Dead Space and Resident Evil 4 had me soiling my pants like it’s 2004 all over again. They make terrible advertisements for outer space and Spain (respectively), but I wasn’t planning on going to either of those places, anyway.
– I lost hours of my life dicking around with Armored Core VI’s mech customization systems, like I was some kind of diabolical Jiffy Lube technician with access to a medium-sized nation-state’s supply of guns and ammo.
– Hi-Fi Rush. Dear God, Hi-Fi Rush. Since I haven’t played Baldur’s Gate 3, my Game of the Year comes down to either Hi-Fi Rush or Tears of the Kingdom…and I think HFR edges it out. Hi-Fi Rush has more charm than a bathtub full of capybaras, a top-tier soundtrack, a striking art style, and well-crafted gameplay that ties the whole package together.
Worsts:
– Chivalry II’s cross-play system is more difficult to wrangle than a greased-up goat on methamphetamine. (The goat, not you.)
– The Game Awards sounded kinda weak this year – overly commercialized, and without proper time dedicated to speeches by award winners. I say “sounded” because I didn’t watch that shit; I was too busy doing productive stuff like drawing Grimace in the style of Berserk or cutting myself shaving.
– Dead Island 2 wasn’t as much of a digital hangnail as 2022’s Dying Light 2, but playing it was still duller than watching grass grow in the dark. Decent gore, I guess, but gore alone does not a good game make (said Yoda).
– Fucking Starfield. Not that it was the worst game of the year – it’s probably a 6.75/10 – but because it was more disappointing than thinking you found a unicorn and then realizing it’s just a horse in a party hat and you’ve taken too many mushrooms.
– Final Fantasy XVI’s “Caulk and Bawl” side quest is the worst thing since my stepbrother Chazz surviving that freak blimp accident. (See my review of Final Fantasy XVI here: https://scrubreport.com/2023/11/24/final-fantasy-xvi-or-the-saga-of-liquid-clive/)
– Mortal Kombat 1’s Kollection of fighters is severely lacking – the new Kombatants are uninspired (almost Kommonplace), and Klassic favorites are either Konfined to the supporting Kast or absent from the new Kanon entirely. Kounterintuitively, it seems as if some of the franchise’s Korny, Kampy atmosphere also ended up as Kut Kontent. Oh, and I Kan’t stand the game’s nomenclature. I get that it’s supposed to be a reboot of the series’ Kronology, but…fuck, man, there’s gotta be more Kompetent options.
– Hilariously shitty releases like Gollum and Redfall were fun to watch crash and burn because I didn’t spend any money on them…but they were still absolute disasters. What really had me rubbernecking were the mealymouthed, possibly-AI-generated apologies issued by the studios behind the aforementioned shitty releases. You can see my own AI-crafted renditions of said apologies here: https://scrubreport.com/2023/06/03/i-had-chatgpt-write-apologies-from-game-studios/
Thanks for reading – if you particularly agreed or disagreed with anything on the list, I appreciate your passion (and please don’t send me hate mail).