[Oh, yeah, there’s some spoilers in here, but I tried to avoid anything too specific…apart from the ending of Rogue One.]

Something about these three episodes rubbed me the wrong way…but, much like the clitoris, I’m having a hard time putting my finger on it.  Oh, well. Let’s give it the old college try.

Andor’s fourth, fifth and sixth episodes played like an above-average science fiction thriller movie that was inexplicably broken into three weekly installments. Whoever made this decision should be fed to a pack of hyenas.

The only thing this scheduling has done is give me a headache when I try to recall the details of the previous episode every week. Sure, the “previously on” segment always fills in the broad strokes,[1] but I can’t remember the names of more than five or six of these characters, tops.[2]

I haven’t discussed Arcane on this site before – it’s very good! – but I think that its release schedule, and subsequent success, are instructive. The series was released in three-episode chunks; with each trio of episodes forming one act in a three-act story. This allowed the show to both provide the audience with a satisfying chunk of plot and whet their appetites for more with each multi-episode release. It also made characters and plot beats easier to remember, especially when new cast members were introduced partway into the story, and we didn’t have as much time to familiarize ourselves with them.

Andor’s second story arc, covered in episodes 4, 5, and 6, deals with the setup and execution of a heist – specifically, the theft of an entire Imperial sector’s payroll.[3] Each instalment serves as – you guessed it – one part of a three-act story. It’s not too much of a spoiler to say that Episode 4 introduces the setting, stakes and major players, Episode 5 covers the crew’s preparations for the job, and Episode 6 follows the events of the heist itself (and the immediate aftermath).

Frankly, these three episodes could have been condensed into two longer ones (shaving off a total of maybe 15-20 minutes) that would have done a better job of maintaining the plot’s momentum. As it is, the first two parts of the story – particularly Episode 5 – drag a bit. The acting is good, and the characters in the heist crew are believably nuanced, but I somewhat resented having to wait so long for anything truly dramatic to happen. Sure, Cassian gets threatened by another crew member due to doubts over his identity, but (as with every other instance where he’s in danger) there’s no reason to worry– we know how Cassian’s story ends, and it’s not here.

Naturally, the heist doesn’t go as planned (if you’re surprised by that, I have a bridge-themed NFT to sell you), leaving Cassian and company with no option but to exercise their God-given right to bear arms. The shootout that ensues is, to put it scientifically, pretty goddamn cool: it was weirdly realistic for Star Wars, with fewer missed shots and more abrupt deaths than one might expect. The scene didn’t rely on flashy lightsaber tricks or confusing camerawork; rather, it works by virtue of bringing grounded elements into the setting and having the confidence to let things play out in occasionally-shocking ways.

Here’s a random observation: I can’t remember seeing any aliens (with speaking roles, at least) in the first six episodes. This makes sense for the Imperial-centric storylines…but what about everyone else? It’s Star Wars, for fuck’s sake! I’d be happy to see Dexter fucking Jettster at this point (OK, that’s a lie, but you get what I mean). I get that the crew is trying to go undercover in an Imperial base, but that shouldn’t entirely preclude the presence of nonhumans with more than brief background appearances.

On to the performances: Diego Luna is still great as Cassian; he’s slipped back into his role from Rogue One like it’s a trusty pair of hiking boots. At this point in the story’s chronology, Cassian hasn’t become the die-hard Rebellion agent we first met in Rogue One, but one can easily see that he’s started down the path to Scarif, the theft of the Death Star plans, and his own demise.

Stellan Skarsgard’s Luthen Rael is a roguish delight, particularly during his scenes with Mon Mothma (played by Genevieve O’Reilly). Their anti-Imperial plotting is always enjoyably tense, due to the pair’s different approaches to rebellion…and the presence of Imperial spies in Mon’s staff.

Mon hasn’t interacted with Cassian yet, but I’m pleased with her inclusion in the series; the flickers of emotion that occasionally flare up from beneath her composed exterior add some welcome depth to the character, and her position in the Imperial Senate gives us a window into a part of the setting that hasn’t been explored much post-prequels. Her family life is almost hilariously awful, with Mon’s husband and daughter treating her like a leper who chews gum too loudly. I do like the husband’s style – he looks like a futuristic version of The Dude. Far out, man.

I found myself quite enjoying the intra-office politicking over at the Imperial Security Bureau. Dedra is a character you find yourself rooting for despite her allegiance to, well, a fascist galactic ethnostate; she’s extremely competent without being unbelievably so, and her inquisitive nature contrasts well with the more rigid procedural posture adopted by most of her colleagues. On top of that, she’s the first person since the Prussian Empire to pull off an outfit involving jodhpurs. Fucking jodhpurs, dude. That’s wild.

Ok, let’s make like a tree and assign each episode a rating between one and ten.  

Rating:

Episode 4: 6.75/10 (+.75/-.25)

Episode 5: 6.5/10 (+1.5/-.25)

Episode 6: 9/10 (+.25/-.75)

If you watch all three episodes over the span of a day or two, the score would look something like this:

Episodes 4-6, Overall Rating: 8.25/10 (+.25/-.5)

---

[1] Broad strokes: I’ve been good with those since I was finger-painting my crib using my own shit.

[2] The ones that aren’t Cassian, that is.

[3] Unclear as to how big a sector is, but we know it’s a lot of fuckin’ money. I guess cryptocurrency didn’t catch on in the Star Wars universe…