Alright, so calling this an “analysis” is like calling what they serve at Arby’s “meat,” but that’s just life – sometimes the people you trust tell you horrible lies in order to get pageviews.
Today we’ll be looking further into Jim Theis’ fantasy epic “The Eye of Argon”. Although the version that I’ve been referencing (found at https://ansible.uk/misc/eyeargon.html) includes several instances of what might generously be termed “illustrations,” I thought it might be fun to let StarryAI have a stab at making some art to go along with the story. Honestly, it was also a fun way to see just how many grotesque misspellings the AI could handle in one prompt (turns out it’s a lot).
Oh, and if you missed the previous part of this series (wherein I actually tried to do some analytical work instead of making an AI draw pictures for me), you can find it here:
This post covers events through the end of chapter 4; if people like it, I’ll bully StarryAI into doing art for the rest of the story, too.
I’ve maintained all spelling and grammar errors from the original text, and I’ve tried to keep the results in chronological order for your perusal.
Now, imagine a world of swashbucklign adventure, where ruddy-faced titans endulge in furious combats with lustful strength and seize power, passion and wealth, leaving the shattered bones of woefully unprepared enemies wallowing mirthlessly at their engorged feet.
1) “The enthused barbarian swilveled about, his shock of fiery red hair tossing robustly in the humid air currents as he faced the attack of the defeated soldier’s fellow in arms.”
2) “Grignr’s emerald green orbs glared lustfully at the wallowing soldier struggling before his chestnut swirled mount.”
3) “Arriving after dusk in Gorzom,grignr descended down a dismal alley, reining his horse before a beaten tavern.”
4) “A faint glimmer sparked from the pair of deep blue ovals of the amorous female as she motioned toward Grignr, enticing him to join her.”
5) “The threws of the savages lashing right arm bulged from the glistening bronze hide as his blade bit deeply into the soldiers neck, loping off the confused head of his senseless tormentor.”
6) “With a nauseating thud the severed oval toppled to the floor, as the segregated torso of Grignr’s bovine antagonist swayed, then collapsed in a pool of swirled crimson.”
7) “The paunchy noble’s sagging round face flushed suddenly pale, then pastily lit up to a lustrous cherry red radiance.”
8) “The group was admitted through the gilded gateway and Grignr was ledalong a stone pathway bordered by plush vegitation lustfully enhanced by the moon’s shimmering rays.”
9) “Crushing prudence to the sward, he plowed into the soldier at his left arm taking hold of his sword, and bounding to the dias supporting the prince before the startled guards could regain their composure.”
10) “The fat prince stood undulating in insurmountable fear before the edge of the fiery maned comet, his flabs of jellied blubber pulsating to and fro in ripples of flowing terror.”
11) “Consciousness returned to Grignr in stygmatic pools as his mind gradually cleared of the cobwebs cluttering its inner recesses, yet the stygian cloud of charcoal ebony remained.”
12) “This was indeed one of the buried chasms of Hell concealed within the inner depths of the palace’s despised interior. A fearful ebony chamber devised to drive to the brinks of insanity the minds of the unfortunately condemned, through the inapt solitude of a limbo of listless dreary silence.”
13) “Expertly chiseled forms of grotesque gargoyles graced the oblique rim protruberating the length of the grim orifice of death, staring forever ahead into nothingness in complete ignorance of the bloody rites enacted in their presence.”
14) “Orange paint was smeared in generous globules over the tops of thw Priests’ wrinkled shaven scalps, while golden rings projected from the lobes of their pink ears.”
15) “Gaping from its single obling socket was scintillating, many faceted scarlet emerald, a brilliant gem seeming to possess a life all of its own. A priceless gleaming stone, capable of domineering the wealth of conquering empires…the eye of Argon.”
16) “A fuzzy form bounded to his hairy chest, burying its talons in his flesh while gnashing toward his throat with its grinding white teeth;its sour, fetid breath scortching the squirming barbarians dilating nostrils.”
17) “When the time came for action he would have to be prepared, so he set himself to tending the sticky hulk in grim silence, searching by the touch of his fingertips for the lever to freedom.”
Commentary:
That was a real grab bag, huh? Violence, nudity, bovine antagonists, stygian pools…all the good stuff. Some of the images StarryAI produced actually fit the story quite well – for example, the “lustful vegitation” [sic] portrayed in no. 8 was right on the money (it just wasn’t that funny).
Thankfully, some gross misinterpretation of the prompts resulted in such wonders as Grignr in a hat lying on a pile of chestnuts (no. 2), a very confused cow (no. 6), and a trio of yoked gargoyles (no. 13). Some of the more combat-oriented results (no’s 5 and 9) are, frankly, a bit boring, but I kept them in so the story would flow better visually.
Believe it or not, the image portrayed in no. 14 is the least homoerotic of the results I got for that prompt. Not that I have a problem with gay priests, but it would’ve made for a bit of a tonal clash if the “leering shamen” were also absolutely fabulous.
I was impressed by the AI’s rendering of the titular Eye of Argon (no. 15)…not just because it actually looks like an eye, but also because StarryAI managed to parse what the fuck a scarlet emerald might look like.
I really wasn’t expecting to see a Marvel character show up in this story, but the AI does what the AI wants, so now a very sticky Hulk is involved (as is some kind of man-rat hybrid, as pictured in no. 16).
In our next installment, Grignr gets called a slut, a simple trap gets overexplained to hell and back, and a whole lot of violence happens.
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