You know what nobody asked for? An article comparing the extraordinarily-grimy prison yard brawls featured in the films Extraction 2 (the sequel to Extraction) and The Raid 2: Redemption (the sequel to The Raid). Why am I writing this? You might as well ask why people sometimes shit in urinals – because I found the idea momentarily interesting.

Both of these movies are, on the whole, a lot of fun. The Raid 2’s storyline is a bit more involved, what with its gang infiltrations and criminal double-crossings, but it’s still easy to follow, if a bit tonally distinct from its predecessor (and star Iko Uwais kicks just as much ass as you would expect – maybe more). Extraction 2 is exactly what it says on the tin: it’s about a dude (Chris Hemsworth, playing an avatar of testosterone named Tyler Rake) extracting people (his sister-in-law and her children) from a prison in Georgia (the scary one. No, the scary European one). The early portions of both films feature extended, dirty-ass fight scenes in the yards of foreign prisons (which explains why the guards don’t just shoot everyone in both scenarios).

I’m not going to lie: it’s challenging to come up with benchmarks to use to rate something this weirdly specific. I settled on four themes: General Griminess, Choreography/Direction, Gratuitous Violence, and Character/Plot Development. I gave all of these categories equivalent weight in the final determination. If you’ve got a problem with that…I dunno, email me or something.

General Muddiness

The only scene muddier than The Raid 2’s prison brawl is John Candy mud-wrestling in Stripes. While The Raid 2 might be less sexy in this regard, it still involves a quantity of brown sludge not seen since the last time I ate cheap falafel. I will say that the sheer amount of mud in this scene makes it hard to keep track of which character is which – no, it’s not because they’re Asian – and that its coloration is a bit artificial, but god damn is it grimy.

Extraction 2’s fight is dirty, sure, but visual confusion primarily arises from the presence of ash and smoke, rather than from an all-encompassing brown sludge.

The Raid 2 pretty clearly takes the win in this category, given that everyone looks like they took a shit-bath by the time it wraps up.

Choreography & Direction

Extraction 2’s prison-yard brawl is presented as a single take, which is pretty much guaranteed to get it in my good books. I had a lot of fun going through and trying to pick out the moments where the director hid cuts in the action. There are several standout moments in the fight – including Chris Hemsworth punching several people with his fist literally on fire – but it does all kind of blend together at a certain point. You could argue this is a function of the single-take nature of the fight, and you wouldn’t be wrong, but that’s kind of the risk you run when filming a scene that way. You win some, you lose some. That said, I never had a hard time keeping track of where the key characters – Rake and his sister-in-law – were, which is impressive in a drawn-out scene with a shitton of extras running around in similar attire. This is a scene for which the word “melee” was invented.

The Raid 2 presents a brawl with a much tenser build-up – it’s like a shaken-up Coke can filled with mud and blood that finally explodes on everyone like the world’s dirtiest bukkake. In comparison, Extraction 2 dumps us straight into the action along with the characters. Honestly, this stylistic difference isn’t make-or-break for either scene: both approaches work in their own way. Iko Uwais’ character Rama has some truly badass moments here as he struggles to rescue the son of a criminal kingpin from a group of other prisoners equipped with various stabbin’ implements. The action involves the mud, in a sense: characters slip and slide around, tumble over one another, and wipe out in almost cartoonish fashion as the carnage escalates and more fighters join the fray.

This one’s a draw.

Gratuitous Violence

Extraction 2’s prison brawlfeatures a good amount of CGI blood, but it’s not overly distracting. Still, it doesn’t get any points for its computer-generated gore not being so egregiously bad that it annoys the audience. I will say, there were a couple of fun-slash-grotesque moments on offer here, including Rake punching several people unconscious while his arm is on fire and a guy’s face getting rearranged with a dumbbell (which is one reason why I never go to the gym).

On the other side of the barbed-wire fence, we’ve got The Raid 2. TR2’s violence – particularly in the prison yard scene – feels more impactful, and not just because they used real (fake) blood. The fact that the fight is based around fists and improvised weapons really makes it feel dangerous and in-your-face in a way that Extraction 2’s doesn’t. TR2’s fight also involves some creative – and gross – use of shivs, which helps sell the whole “frantic prison clusterfuck” thing pretty well.

At the end of the day, Extraction 2’s prison fight involves, in the American style, a metric fuckload of guns, whereas The Raid 2’s brawl was all about sloppily bashing people with sticks in a mud pit. Personally, I prefer my prison brawls to involve more bashing than shooting.

The Raid 2 takes this category by just a (very dirty) hair.

Character & Plot Development

 Interestingly enough, both scenes involve the main character trying to protect a third party whilst embroiled in a chaotic prison-yard brawl that escalates as more combatants enter the fray.

Neither scene is aided by its placement in the film: since both fights take place in the first half of their respective movies, there isn’t a ton of dramatic tension that can be milked in the midst of the carnage. As far as tension goes, they both feel like watching the Valkyrie of mud wrestling.

On the whole, Extraction 2 does a better job of developing its characters (thin though they may be) during the prison fight scene. Rake’s sister-in-law accompanies him through the entire brawl, and acquits herself admirably the entire time, whether it be smacking a ne’-er-do-well with a shovel, or shouting for help when she needs help, she’s competent but never unbelievably so, which can be a tough balance to execute. Seeing her work together with Rake communicated the characters’ growing rapport without having to spell things out with hamfisted dialogue. I was glad the screenwriters found a way to keep the two kids Rake is also rescuing out of the scene, as that would have made for too many characters to feasibly keep track of amidst the bloodletting.

The Raid 2’s fight scene does its job in the overall plot – that is, Rama earns the trust of the gang he’s trying to infiltrate by saving the kingpin’s son – but doesn’t really say anything new about its characters. We already know Rama is a badass, and sure, we see that the kingpin’s son can handle himself OK in a fight, but that’s not very surprising. If the two characters had worked together more – like Rake and his extractee, whose name you can look up yourself if you care so much – then the scene might have been able to do more in terms of character development.

Extraction 2 wins this category pretty handily.

In Conclusion:

Both of these scenes are profoundly stupid in their own delightful ways. Your life will be better for having watched both of them. That said, according to my entirely arbitrary metrics, The Raid 2 wins the title of “Best/Grimiest Prison Yard Brawl” (in a competition of two). ‘Til next time, folks…stay grody. Remember, hygiene is for squares.