Tag: Movies
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What Makes a Good (Modern) Godzilla?
Modern Godzilla movies are a real grab bag: sometimes you get something that’s slow-paced but observant, like Shin Godzilla; sometimes, you end up with an absolute roaring dumpster fire like Godzilla (1998)…and every once in a while, you end up with a triumph like Godzilla Minus One. So, what makes one of these movies good,…
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Grimy Prison Yard Brawls: Who Did It Better?
You know what nobody asked for? An article comparing the extraordinarily-grimy prison yard brawls featured in the films Extraction 2 (the sequel to Extraction) and The Raid 2: Redemption (the sequel to The Raid). Why am I writing this? You might as well ask why people sometimes shit in urinals – because I found the…
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Inglourious Basterds: An Ingienious Theory
I’m so goddamn pleased with myself for coming up with this set of observations that I had to share them with the world (lucky world). Admittedly, at least one person thought of this before me, and his name rhymes with ‘Bentin Barantino’. (I’d hazard a guess there’s thousands of others who noticed this before I…
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The Final Girl Support Group: A Zandor Review
If there are two things you need to know about Zandor, they are: 1) he is enthralled by anything and everything related to 1980’s horror, and 2) he speaks exclusively in the third person. So, when Zandor first heard the title of Grady Hendrix’s most recent horror novel, The Final Girl Support Group, he was…
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Review Showdown: The Gray Man (Netflix) vs. The Terminal List (Prime Video)
Yes, I know one of them is a movie and the other is a TV show. Thematically, though, the two properties are similar enough to warrant comparison: both stories are centered on laconic special forces types who are on the run after being betrayed by their superiors; the leading man has to rely on a…
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Review: Prey (2022) (Hulu)
Don’t you just hate it when the protagonist of your movie does action stuff while simultaneously having a vagina? It’s the worst thing since botulism. I actively felt my T-levels lowering while watching Prey, as if I was eating a sandwich made of estrogen and white guilt. I want my action films to be like…
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Tier List: James Bond Movie Titles
S TIER Thunderball – I fucking love this title. Maybe because it makes me think of AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck,” the background track to one of my favorite drinking games. It also sounds like a euphemism for Pikachu’s ballsack. Octopussy – Objectively speaking, the best title in cinematic history. A TIER From Russia with Love –…
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Life’s a Food Fight: The Existential Max Keeble
It’s generally undisputed that Max Keeble’s Big Move is a kids’ movie. It’s got all the hallmarks: crotch kicks, a mischievous chimpanzee, a sadistic middle school principal, the fat Josh Peck, and a relatable ostrich-riding preteen hero with a master plan to save the day. By most standards, it’s pure, unapologetic Disney schlock. Something to…
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Review: The Northman
Are you into Vikings and/or Hamlet? How about films like The Witch and/or The Lighthouse? If you’re even moderately into one of the above, you’ll probably enjoy The Northman, and, even if you aren’t, there’s a good chance you will anyway. What I’m saying is that it’s an enjoyable movie, particularly if your interests…