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Review: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Part 6
Let’s pick the fly out of the ointment first: this episode’s timeline was fucked in half. Last we saw of Reva, she was lying on the floor of an abandoned hangar on some shitty dust planet with a broken lightsaber[1] and only a busted hologram of Jimmy Smits to keep her company. As awesome as…
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The Malicious Chinchilla, Pt. 3
Brutus and I, having survived our first few months living together at college, moved to the D.C. suburbs for the summer. I grew up in the area, but staying at my parents’ house was out of the question – my father made it very clear that “The Vermin” was not welcome in his establishment.…
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Review: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Part 5
Hayden’s back, baby! Woo! I hit the air with a solid fist pump when he showed up at the top of the episode for a (flashback) lightsaber duel with Obi-Wan.[1] Enjoyable, certainly, despite the less-than-fantastic CGI de-aging effects used on both characters. The show’s editing, usually nothing to write home about, really stood out with…
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Life’s a Food Fight: The Existential Max Keeble
It’s generally undisputed that Max Keeble’s Big Move is a kids’ movie. It’s got all the hallmarks: crotch kicks, a mischievous chimpanzee, a sadistic middle school principal, the fat Josh Peck, and a relatable ostrich-riding preteen hero with a master plan to save the day. By most standards, it’s pure, unapologetic Disney schlock. Something to…
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Review(s): The Boys, Season 3, Eps. 4 & 5
Episode Four: “Glorious Five Year Plan” The Boys stayed on-trend in Episode 4, with a collection of good performances, well-defined characters, and gruesomely funny action that was somewhat marred by the show’s odd pacing and occasional tendency to overemphasize tangential side plots. Butcher’s over-the-top management methods bore predictably poisoned fruit this episode, although the team…
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The Malicious Chinchilla, Pt. 2
We left off with my new chinchilla, having already demonstrated a somewhat malevolent streak, freshly installed under the bed in my dorm room and ready to wreak havoc. In less than a week, my friends had organized a death pool regarding how long Brutus would last in his new environment; the longest bet was two…
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Throwback Article: The Definitive List of Pranks
(To Alienate Your Friends and Loved Ones) 1) “The Parrot Pretext.” This is a classic gag. Use a birthday as an excuse to purchase a parrot for the target of your prank, and train said parrot to repeat problematic phrases at inopportune times. This is one of my favorites because it’s an intergenerational method of…
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The Malicious Chinchilla, Pt. 1
I’ve often been asked to share my Malicious Chinchilla trilogy in an easily-accessible, modern format. Since I’m a great guy, here you go. Enjoy, and say “thank you” to Brutus. On a blustery Tuesday in March of 2014, I was returning to my undergraduate campus from a quick trip to Joe Canal’s Discount Liquor Outlet…
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On (the) Campaign – Halo: Combat Evolved
Apologies for the sporadic posting recently; I just moved to a new apartment (well, I moved the couch, TV, and chinchilla, and got the internet set up) so I’ve been unable to surf the zeitgeist as I usually do. I’m hoping to be back on schedule with my posts within a couple of days, but,…
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Review: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Part 4
No other way to say it: Obi-Wan Kenobi had an unfortunate dip in quality this week. Not that the sets or CGI looked bad; rather, Part 4 was less engaging than previous installments because so much of it felt like something we’ve seen before. The “rescue a character from an Imperial base” plot has been…