Tag: Gaming
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The Joys of Playing Helldivers II While Drunk
I’ve always wondered what my life expectancy would have been as one of the extras in Starship Troopers. Would I have made it to one of the co-ed shower scenes, or been rent in twain by a bug creature that was probably just trying to defend its home? The answer is a profound “no” to…
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Bests & Worsts of 2023: Gaming
Like last year’s edition (available at https://scrubreport.com/2023/01/14/bests-worsts-of-2022-gaming/), this will be a bit of a twist on the usual “Best/Worst” listicle format – that is, it’ll include specific events, game mechanics, and industry trends as well as games that I liked or hated. Let’s git ‘er done. Bests: – Assembling insane contraptions in The Legend of…
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Interview: Kazuhira “Buster” Johnson, Game Director (Part II)
(If you haven’t read Part 1 of this interview, you can check it out here) Hitler’s hookah is smaller than I’d expected: one would think that the Fuhrer would have relied upon some overwrought device of Volkshalle-ian proportions, but what I’m presented with is almost…dainty. Even though there are no swastikas on the bowl, I…
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Grimy Prison Yard Brawls: Who Did It Better?
You know what nobody asked for? An article comparing the extraordinarily-grimy prison yard brawls featured in the films Extraction 2 (the sequel to Extraction) and The Raid 2: Redemption (the sequel to The Raid). Why am I writing this? You might as well ask why people sometimes shit in urinals – because I found the…
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I Had ChatGPT Write Apologies From Game Studios
Half-assed apologies from game development studios have become almost par for the course these days – it feels like every other title that gets released comes along with a “We’re Sorry” note (or video) posted by the relevant studio on their twitter account after the negative reviews start to roll in. These digital vomit-pools (the…
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Interview: Kazuhira “Buster” Johnson, Game Director
The trip to Kazuhira Johnson’s compound, located in the scalding wastes of the Nevada desert, is shorter than expected. This is because the driver sent to pick me up, a mute albino the size of one of Shaquille O’Neal’s bigger shits, has a propensity for speeding (in both the vehicular and pharmaceutical senses). We pull…
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The Eye of Argon: A Literary Analysis (Part 2)
Alright, so calling this an “analysis” is like calling what they serve at Arby’s “meat,” but that’s just life – sometimes the people you trust tell you horrible lies in order to get pageviews. Today we’ll be looking further into Jim Theis’ fantasy epic “The Eye of Argon”. Although the version that I’ve been referencing…
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Review: The Mandalorian, Season 3, Eps. 6-8 (Disney+)
Let’s call a spade a spade: this season of Mando was more uneven than my heart rate, and the last three episodes really exemplified a lot of the problems I had with this season as a whole. I put off writing this review because, honestly, I just didn’t find the end of the season…
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Review Showdown: The Callisto Protocol vs. Dead Space (2023)
Introduction: I held off on posting this review until I’d wrapped up both games; it took me a couple of weeks to finish the Dead Space remake, but, with its myriad of fleshy horrors safely in the rearview mirror, here’s a double review no one asked for. Honestly, it’s so one-sided that it isn’t much…
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Review: Splatoon 3 (Nintendo Switch)
I’ve always been partial to team-based multiplayer games that let me contribute in less, shall we say, confrontational ways. Back when I played Overwatch, I enjoyed Lucío’s speed-boosting and healing abilities; in the Battlefield games, I tend to play as a medic, etc., etc. It’s like being the paparazzi on Princess Diana’s commute: sometimes, it’s…