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The Joys of Playing Helldivers II While Drunk
I’ve always wondered what my life expectancy would have been as one of the extras in Starship Troopers. Would I have made it to one of the co-ed shower scenes, or been rent in twain by a bug creature that was probably just trying to defend its home? The answer is a profound “no” to…
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Bests & Worsts of 2023: Gaming
Like last year’s edition (available at https://scrubreport.com/2023/01/14/bests-worsts-of-2022-gaming/), this will be a bit of a twist on the usual “Best/Worst” listicle format – that is, it’ll include specific events, game mechanics, and industry trends as well as games that I liked or hated. Let’s git ‘er done. Bests: – Assembling insane contraptions in The Legend of…
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Ranking Attack on Titan‘s Intros (By Amount of Japanese Nationalism)
I’d been hearing about how great this show was for years, and I finally got around to giving it a watch with a buddy who also hadn’t seen it. (I haven’t gotten through the last two episodes, but I wanted to get this done before New Years’, and I don’t ~think~ they have an intro…
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Free Range Nightmare Fuel (and other assorted “art”)
In no particular order, here are some drawings I knocked out recently that you might find horrifying(ly interesting). If you’ve been sleeping too soundly, these should be just the cure for what ails you. There’s an obvious Lovecraftian influence to many of the following…because that shit is scary as hell. Just wanted to point it…
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Final Fantasy XVI: or, the Saga of Liquid Clive
This isn’t a review. If it was a review, I’d be talking at least some about the things I enjoyed in this game (good music, nice graphics, a solid trio of core characters, expansive and well-presented lore) – but right now I just feel like complaining. It’s easier to be funny when I’m being negative,…
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Grimace Does Japan
So I did some mashups of Grimace x Japanese pop culture… (I’ve been tweeting these at McDonalds’ Japanese branch but they haven’t replied yet.) “Mobile Suit Grimace” “Grimace vs. MechaGrimace” “Neon Grimace Evangelion” “Berserk: The Golden Arches Arc” “Pokemon: Grimace” Hit me with suggestions if you’ve got ’em.
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Aggressive Drift: A Journey Into Phonk
“The phonk is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. The phonk was here before you, and it shall be here when you are gone. When all of us are but dust and ash, blown on a dead wind beneath a dead sky, only the phonk shall remain.” -Mahatma Gandhi, probably[1] …
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Why I’m Not Reviewing Ahsoka, and Some Other Updates
Don’t worry: despite what you may have heard, I did not perish in an entirely-preventable zeppelin fire. I did, of course, end up trapped in the Australian Outback for several weeks with two broken legs and a herd of predatory kangaroos hunting me, but that’s a tale for another time. Anyway, you read the title,…
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Interview: Kazuhira “Buster” Johnson, Game Director (Part II)
(If you haven’t read Part 1 of this interview, you can check it out here) Hitler’s hookah is smaller than I’d expected: one would think that the Fuhrer would have relied upon some overwrought device of Volkshalle-ian proportions, but what I’m presented with is almost…dainty. Even though there are no swastikas on the bowl, I…
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Grimy Prison Yard Brawls: Who Did It Better?
You know what nobody asked for? An article comparing the extraordinarily-grimy prison yard brawls featured in the films Extraction 2 (the sequel to Extraction) and The Raid 2: Redemption (the sequel to The Raid). Why am I writing this? You might as well ask why people sometimes shit in urinals – because I found the…